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07 April 2012 @ 12:33 am
fic: hush, love, hush (andrew/jesse)  
title: hush, love, hush
word count: around 1000
summary: based on this prompt from the kinkmeme. basically, schmoop and more schmoop and very little else.
(or; jesse is talented and smart and so very out of andrew's league - but he wants, he wants.)
warnings/rating: pg at most, warnings for excessive fluff.
disclaimer: these people are real actors with real lives and i don't claim that this actually happened; i just like writing about pretty boys falling in love.
notes: this was written at 12:30 and i haven't slept properly in ages. i apologize for any mistakes but i wanted to get this up before i forgot about it again.

Jesse’s smiling at Andrew.

He’s biting his lip and smiling like – like this is some romantic comedy, or something equally insane (but Andrew’s just being silly, projecting again – as he does, as he always, always does).

Andrew’s just staring at him, because that’s all that he can do, and Jesse frowns, looking unsure of himself.

“Andrew?” and this is slightly more high-pitched than his normal voice; this is Jesse nervous, and Andrew bites his lip.


“Are you okay?”

“Brilliant,” and it’s only half of a lie, because Andrew’s fine, really, he’s with Jesse and that should really be enough. “I’m brilliant, Jess,” and he looks at the television screen, tilting his head just a bit.

“Okay,” and this is soft, questioning; Jesse turns as well, without curling up to Andrew like he’d normally do, and he lets himself for a moment feel absolutely terrible.

(It’s probably better, though, for Jesse to not be near him; Andrew isn’t sure what he’d do if he were in such close proximity to him. He can barely handle this, the being together, watching a movie, like they’re some sort of fucking couple – and no matter how many people tell him that they are, that it’s obvious, Andrew doesn’t believe them because he’s pretty sure he’d know if they were in a relationship, all right?)

The movie continues.

Andrew closes his eyes and kisses the top of Jesse’s head, feather-soft, when the credits roll, because he does that, because Jesse’s never complained before.

Jesse stiffens, and Andrew for a moment feels awful, terrible, because he’s been using Jesse this whole time, and –

Jesse looks up at him, and he’s biting his lip, and he looks completely fucking adorable.

He sits up properly, and attempts to flatten down his hair (it doesn’t work, but Andrew gives him points for trying). “I –” he starts, and then stops, pauses.

Andrew frowns. “Jess?”

“This isn’t – I’m sorry,” he blurts out, and then winces, shaking his head. “Okay, that – that came out wrong. I just.” He frowns. “Look – it’s just – everyone else is saying these things and I know, I know it’s not the same – it’s not – you don’t mean it –”

“Wait.” Andrew frowns, staring at him. “What –”

“I’m sorry,” Jesse breathes out, closing his eyes, and he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean for – for this.”

“For what?” and this is quick, because he thinks he knows but he’s not sure, he doesn’t – and he’s not going to take chances with this, not now, not when he has everything he’s ever wanted this close (and, all right, he’s a teenage girl. He can deal with that).

Jesse shakes his head, and he looks absolutely miserable.

“Jess,” Andrew whispers, and his heart fucking breaks – because Jesse is actually the most perfect person Andrew has ever met.

He sits down all the way, curls his body next to Jesse’s, giving him a hug. “You can tell me anything,” he whispers, eyes shut.

Jesse leans into him, and whispers, “I want you,” soft.

Andrew stiffens.

So does Jesse.

“I’m sorry –” he starts, and his voice is cracked, but then – but then Andrew is kissing him, soft, moving closer, hand resting on Jesse’s hip.

“I –” he starts, and then cuts himself off, shaking his head, minute. “You,” he says, instead, and kisses him again.

It’s slow and slick and perfect. It’s Jesse leaning into him, arching into him, and biting softly and it’s teeth and it’s barely-there tongues and it’s better than Andrew could have dreamed.

Jesse’s so fucking responsive, makes these noises that Andrew doesn’t know how to handle – he whimpers and breathes out and whispers Andrew, Andrew over and over like he’s wanted this just as long as Andrew has, like he’s been waiting for permission to touch, to want, to have.

“Mine,” Jesse whispers when Andrew presses him down against the couch, and arches against him again – but Andrew stops and whispers to him.

“We don’t have to – to do anything,” he says, lips pressed against Jesse’s neck.

And after a moment, Jesse nods. “I’m sorry –” he starts, but Andrew shakes his head, because he is not actually a sex-crazed asshole.

They only kiss, that night, and Jesse goes to his room, biting his lip.

“Good night,” he whispers, kissing Andrew, soft, and leaves with a smile on his face.

It doesn’t take long for Andrew to follow him.

Jesse freezes, looking up at him, but Andrew only quirks the corners of his lips.

“I’m not here for sex,” he whispers, feeling like a pervert as he crawls under the sheets, “I just – you know. Cuddling. If you don’t mind.”

Jesse’s smile widens and he nods, reaching out for Andrew, pulling him close, breathing him in.

“Stay,” he whispers, just before he falls asleep, and Andrew does.

He stays awake for a while – he just watches Jesse, because he doesn’t get to do that often, doesn’t get the chance to look all that he wants.

Jesse – he’s beautiful and soft and so, so smart – and he’s Andrew’s, he hopes, going to be his, only his, because he doesn’t know how he’s expected to share him.

And it’s a bit scary, yeah – it’s scary because Jesse is fragile, so, so fragile, and he’s strong but Andrew’s terrified of hurting him, because hurting Jesse – that’s the worst thought, the thing Andrew couldn’t bear, above all else.

Jesse snuffles in his sleep, shifting closer, and Andrew smiles, wide.

They’ll figure it out.

They will.

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: bare - bare (a pop opera)
slasher48slasher48 on April 7th, 2012 05:49 am (UTC)

I love this, so hard. With the kissing the top of Jesse's head and they're both so scared (I love that; I think Andrew has the potential to be just as anxious as Jesse does) and worried that they're using each other. And the "I'm sorry" and the "I want you" and the kissing and the cuddling and the "they will" as Andrew's watching Jesse sleep.

rumpledlinen: pic#109574842rumpledlinen on April 7th, 2012 08:31 pm (UTC)
oh my goodness THANK YOU SO MUCH. :) i was really worried it was too cheesy/unbelievable so it's nice to hear that you liked it. :)
britta perry: anarchist cat ownershadowcastings on April 9th, 2012 11:25 pm (UTC)
jafdslkfds hi i am the prompter from the meme and omg. this is absolutely lovely! i agree with the above commenter, i love that andrew is scared and nervous as well.
it's so soft and sweet and totally believable and i absolutely adore this. thank you for filling the prompt! :3
rumpledlinenrumpledlinen on April 9th, 2012 11:54 pm (UTC)
aww thank you so so much! <3 i'm so glad you liked it. :)